Befo' time, da kine Greg wen stay Hawaii. Bumbye he go come mainlan, wit his three bruddas, Brandon, Dan and Wombat. Greg-dem stay mainlan one long time, but nevah fo'get Hawaii...
Greg and I had been partners for just over two years at that time, and that year was his 45th birthday. I got a wild hare that I should throw him a luau, inspired in part by Martin Golding's notorious goat roasts. So I did a bunch of studying up, got together a menu, bought some supplies and sent out invitations.
You'd think I'd actually done this before. Well, actually, I have cooked a whole pig before, but never in a pit. In fact, before this, I never cooked any kind of food in a pit, never cooked food wrapped in leaves, never even tasted poi, never attended a luau of any kind, in fact, never set foot on the soil of Hawaii (although since then, I have, indeed, visited Greg's old stomping grounds of Manoa Valley on O'ahu, as well as paid tribute to Madame Pele on the Big Island). However, as that selfsame Martin has said of me, "Leigh Ann never lets discretion interfere with valor."
So here's my account of Da Big Luau, that those who come after me (including me!) may profit thereby.