From leighann Tue Feb 18 14:49:24 1997 From: Leigh Ann Hussey To: Juana-Isabella, John The Awfulles', Maeren, Meg, Da Kine Dave Cc: Corwyn, Morgan, Greg, Billie, Jennifer, me Subject: We took 'em by storm... ... Caid never knew what hit 'em, and I even came away with legitimately captured Caidan vessels, surrendered by the Admiral of Caid herself. ;) The only bad thing about the weekend was that Greg and Billie and I were all too wiped out to fence, though I would've at least tried if I hadn't had to finish the song for my defense at the piracy inquest. My presentation on Grace O'Malley went pretty well; I think it'll probably be a thing that grows, or at least fine-tunes, as time goes on. There's lots of cool info about her that I wasn't able to touch in the time available. But to cut to the chase: The business of court was run through in what I understand to be typical Caidan fashion; lots of announcements, a few inaudible presentations. Eventually the herald got to the preliminaries "... act of piracy ... blah blah ... Captain Siobhan ... blah blah", Adm. Morgan came forwad and her Rear Admiral Cameron was named as prosecuting attorney, and Corwyn said to His Caidan Maj, "As Ambassador of the West, I feel that I cannot properly act in this matter; have I Your Majesty's permission to call an attorney for the defense?" Permission being granted, the herald announced, "Ambassador Corwyn wishes to call into court Admiral Corwyn" at which point Corwyn swapped his baronial coronet for his admiral's hat, appointed for judges Giles ("I know of no-one to be more friendly to sailors...") and another gentleman I didn't recognize, and I was called into court myself. Initially it was supposed to be Legio IX that escorted me into court (the idea being that they were going to protect the populace from me), but for some reason that idea went by the wayside at the last minute, and I was instead escorted in by two really rather harmless-looking ladies, preceded by my banner and that of my Admiral Juana, and post-ceded by Greg. A bunch of amusing schtick was had about the fact that I'd come into the royal presence armed (to the teeth, I might add), with Cameron offering to search me, me giving him The Hairy Eyeball (TM) (by the way, the wanted poster Morgan drew captured that selfsame Hairy Eyeball quite effectively... Max, I really want a copy of the inked one, should you ever get round to it... I'll frame it! ;) ), at which point Cameron said, "I will gladly surrender my arms to the crown if this captain will do likewise," and Greg behind me said, "Do you have all night, Milord?" I should mention at this point, that the audience was right on top of all this stuff, laughing and heckling and generally having a stompin time... So instead, I was questioned about the ship, primarily its cargo ("Were there, perchance, any PINEAPPLES?"), and Corwyn invited me to give my testimony, which follows: In the Mistland I was born and bred; Down in Dreiburgen they want my head. The West rejoiceth to hear my deed, But it sore grieveth them in Caid (Fal de right fa la, fal de right fal lay) Contessa Juana of great reknown (*) Becoming Admiral this past June Crown, I straight signed on under her command -- We brazen maids must together stand (Fal de right...) When good Duke Jade came to make her Queen, And great rejoicing thereon was seen, I straight resolved, as her captain bold, To fill her coffers with goods and gold. I put to sea on an autumn day -- Fair winds did speed me all on my way -- Until I smelled on a fresh'ning breeze The luau pig of the Western Seas. We laid on canvas and came 'longside, And so to hail them I loudly cried, "Welcome to you who have sailed so far," And my mate translated, "Aloha!" "As my queen's agent, I offer you "To take the tribute that is her due, "And straight deliver it, as ye ween." "Get cargo? Try give 'em fo' Da Queen." I tell you truly as I was born, My honest offer they laughed to scorn, As if I were but a common thief, And all their answer was, "Wot! Like beef?" From their long voyage upon the wave, They'd quite forgotten how to behave, So to remind them I quickly leapt (Hey, Greg, what's pidgin for "I accept"?) Of sturdy broadsides we gave but three; Sweet reason swiftly they came to see. We did relieve them of gold and store, And we delivered it as we swore: The coffee beans of the Kona coast, Sweet macadamias salt and roast, Preserve'd fruits, tropical and rare, And many pineapples, sweet and fair. On my account I've no more to say. But as we left them and sailed away, I thought it strange, and I tell no lie: Caidan colors they ne'er did fly. I acted under my Queen's command -- That is my story, by which I stand! Which tale is done, and likewise my song. Forgive me if you all found it long. (*) (Which thing she still was when they made her Admiral...) Vast applause and cheers. Folks mostly got the pidgin references too, though it's just possible they were laughing coz they knew that was the spot they were s'posed to laugh at... ;) At this point, Cameron was roaring about hanging me, and Corwyn was shouting about much-vauted Caidan justice, and Giles calmed the crowd so that Corwyn could present his points, which were that the three parts of the charge of 1) piracy 2) in Caidan waters 3) against Caidan shipping were all three false, because 1) I'm a commissioned officer in the Western Navy, which means that any such act might be an act of WAR (predictable chanting of "War! War! War!" with Corwyn commenting to Cameron, "Hey, by all means have a war, it's good for business."), but not an act of PIRACY, 2) Prima omnia ex Occidentalis sunt or in the beginning, all proceeded from the West, meaning that anything not explicitly claimed by subsequent kingdoms belonged to the West, and the waters in question not being specified Caidan were therefore Western, QED, and 3) if it was a Caidan ship, where was it? What was its name and home port and who was its captain? What honest merchant would fail to appear in such a trial as was currently being conducted? (Some audience member shouted: "A dead one!") (Where on earth did these people get the idea, by the way, that I sank the ship in question? Good grief! Anyway...) What else but a dirty pirate? So that in seizing the ship in question, I was in fact committing an act of suppression of piracy, serving not only my own kingdom but that of Caid as well. (Some argument about where such a ship would have come from; previously Cameron said something along the lines of something having as much right to something else as the Outlands have to Baja, and at this point I said to Corwyn, "As much right as" and we chorused "the Outlands have to Baja!" "Nice try," said Cameron, "but the Queen of the Outlands is in my camp and it'd be a bad political move...") Anyway, the upshot of it all was that Giles came forward and said, "We have heard the testimony of both sides, and while we cannot find the defendent *innocent*," (pregnant pause; bloodthirsty shouts) "neither can we find her guilty." ("When's the civil trial?" someone shouted, after which the other judge was heard to suggest that the name of the plundered ship was the White Bronco...) "But," Giles continued, "seeing that the blood lust of the mob must be satisfied, we therefore present you with the attorneys for the defense and prosecution." I looked at Greg, said, "I think let's stand out of the way now, shall we?" and all four of us strolled out of court to terrific cheering. I'm told that afterwards people kept asking Morgan, "Is court ALWAYS like that in the West?" and she, who'd lived here, replied, "Yeah, pretty much." So perhaps the typical mode of court in Caid may be seen to change over time, if we've made that much of an impression...;) Oh right, and I later entered the above song in the Caidan Piracy Song contest, and Morgan (with the wisdom of Solomon) sent me away with the prize but told the other fellow who'd made a pretty righteous showing (I think there were 3 or 4 competitors total, only 2 of whom displayed evidence of having gotten the point...;) that he'd be getting a prize shortly, and with his permission she'd like his song to become the official song of the Royal Crescent Navy. The prize I took away consisted of a bottle of Capt. Morgan Rum, with two glass tankards etched with a design rather like the arms of the RCN, which were promptly dubbed "the Caidan vessels". The evening subsequent went really well; I think the Drafn were pretty well pleased with Greg's and my playing (someone behind me muttered to his companion, "You don't find musicians like this in Pomona...") and all in all a damfine time was had by all concerned. So, I promised my Admiral Juana a full and complete report of all that happened, which thing this is so far as I've been able to reconstruct it. If I've left anything out, will those who were there be so good as to remedy my omissions? Thanks to Corwyn, Susan, Pete and Jim for getting our stuff down there. Thanks to Max for inviting us; you must visit up here now! Ahoy, - Siobhan f